The Dave Conidaris Memorial Cup
18 May - 22 May 2005
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The Bokkoms |
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The Gud Gize |
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Arthur Brook (Captain) Jason O'Connell (Vice Captain) Jan Booyzen Jan Coetzee Wayne England Tony Kaleb Dave Logan Johan Loubser Mike Richards Des Seegers Dave Tripp Kevin Venter |
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Louis Barclay (Captain) Keith Dye (Vice Captain) Jeff Bartlett Peter Bergh Kevin Clarence Mike Drummond Ian Gauld Monty Mantovan Keith MacMillan John Moyes Erik Smuts Des Stroud
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23
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Final Score |
19 |
Day 1
It was still dark and a little chilly at 6am when we started arriving at Country Club Johannesburg for the first match of DC 2005. It would be the last time during the next 5 days that we would all look so perky this early in the morning.
Early Morning at CCJ
After coffee we got everyone, except Dave Tripp who was late, onto carts and set off to the Tee get the event underway.
Des Stroud, a rookie at this years event, got things going by ‘hitting the first ball in anger’ into a typical Highveld winter sunrise.
At the end of the round the Gud Gize had made their intentions clear and had given the Bokkoms a 4-2 Carrot, and took a 2 point lead into day two of the event. Louis Barclay took the opportunity to start rubbing Bokkoms noses in it. There were however still 5 rounds of Golf, 4 nights of Drinking and 36 points on offer - the Gud Gize had 4 in the bag, and as history had taught us, the team that took the lead on day 1 would be better positioned to take the event.
After a few Pints on the balcony at CCJ, the Bus arrived to collect us – “OH MY GOD”!!! If only we knew what we were in for!
This was going to get UGLY!
Ou Ryperd, became our Anthem before we crossed the Great Divide and passed the Benoni/Springs border. With the pub open, and Stefan our barman keeping them coming, we all settled into the atmosphere of the bus (one that would change for the worse) and got the party underway.
One of the changes in this years event was the Captaincy change for the Gud Gize. Keith Dye had stepped down after four years at the helm, and handed over Captaincy to Louis Barclay. With keeping in the spirit of the DC Cup Louis immediately appointed Keith as his Vice Captain. Being the Rookie Captain, Louis and his Vice Captain spent a huge amount of precious drinking time deciding on the pairing for the 2nd day.
Louis and Keith doing the pairings
Des Stroud and a heap of others played drinking games, Arthur Brook tried to sleep, Kevin Clarence was having non of it and starting practicing his tackling skill. Jan Booyzen should have started smoking, but we think all of his protesting helped keep him somewhat sober. Peter Bergh looked for a ‘leader’ – Wayne England obliged. The trip down to white river soon turned into a blur.
We arrived just after 6pm, some of us went straight to bed, some for dinner, some to the pub and some to the pool room – as for what happed thereafter – no one knows.
After a long bus trip - two Rookies looking decidedly Tired!
Day 2
Day two started in true DC Cup form. Those who made it to reception before the 6am departure for White River looked very ill for the most part, but were able to swallow a cup of coffee over a cold breakfast before setting off to wake those who had clearly not responded to the wake-up call. Jan Coetzee on the other hand surprised us all and arrived unaided. Once we were all aboard we set off for the short trip to White River Country Club. A beer or two may have been consumed en route.
Getting 24 golfers to this point was one thing, but taking into account that we purposely planned a six hour trip in a mobile pub the day before, then planned 36 holes the next day, with a 7am tee-off time – one has to wonder how demented we are that we planned to play the ‘infamous’ format of foursomes at all! We have often heard a Captain or a Vice Captain ponder the reasons why the results of the foursomes matches go against their expectations so badly – but given 5 years of experience, it would appear that things are set-up that way.
We finished the first round of Foursomes square at 3 a piece.
We kicked off the afternoons Betterball matches shortly after Keith Macmillan patched thing up with the Club Management. The Bokkoms beat the Gud Gize 5 -1 and turned a 2 point deficit into a 2 point lead. Louis didn't have much to say, whilst Arthur in his typical fashion 'claimed' that it was part of his master plan!
After smashing a R1500 kitty for drinks in about 60 minutes, we hopped onto the bus for the short trip back to Karula. Being the fifth year of the DC Cup we decided to honour those players who had played in 5 events. Mike Richards was asked to officiate proceedings.
In tradition, we toasted Dave Conidaris with a DC (Drambuie and Cane).
"From the Heart" Monty - Well done on five years!
Day 3
WHOOO-HA! No matter how many times you tell some people that the bus departs at a certain time - they can never get it right! After coffee we went in search of those that were going to be late. Jason O'Connell was fast asleep, John Moyes was in the Bath, and Louis - bless his little white cotton socks - had no clue of who he was, where he was or who we were harassing him at this early hour. In one of the 'Highlight' moments of the weekend, Louis came to the door and then tried to enter the bathroom by walking through the closed cupboard door!
By the time we got everyone to the bus, we slowly started realising that the bus in itself would cause us problems. Firstly, the bus had taken on a slight odour - not of stale beer, but of used and discarded beer. Secondly, before departing that morning the driver had to make some minor adjustments to the brakes and the clutch that had stopped working. Nothing too serious!
We arrived at Nelspruit Country Club 30 minutes late for our tee-times. Fortunately, the course was empty and we were able to start at our leisure. After months of planning, we thought that holding the event in the middle of May would mean that we would not have to play in rain as we had done in previous years. How wrong we were! A light intermittent drizzle followed us around the course for most of the day. It was however a far cry from the weather we had had at Beachwood in Durban during the first round of the 2003 event.
Foursomes is a TERRIBLE format to play Golf! Playing Foursomes, in the rain, with a hangover, is down right SHIT. The Gud Gize came back at the Bokkoms and reduced the deficit to one by taking the mornings Foursomes 3.5 to 2.5.
After something to eat and a beer or two, another complaint from the club about someone tearing up the turf by wheel-spinning a cart, we started the afternoons Betterball.
By the time we were all in the pub, the afternoons Betterball had been tied at 3 points a piece. This meant that the Bokkoms had a slender one point lead going into the final. The Gud Gize had never come from behind to take the Tournament!
After a few drinks it was back to the bus and back to the Karula. MAN ALIVE, or should I say, TOILET ALIVE. The bus had ripened to the point that it was unbearable - fortunately we were able to drink the odour bearable. We stopped in White River to draw cash, and the driver took to opportunity to 'dump' the contents of the toilet onto the Main Road. I am certain that many people living down wind from that bus lost their dinner through their 'pie-hole' that night!
Back to the Pub at the Karula. Back to the gambling machines for Des Seegers and Jeff Bartlett, back to the Pool Room for others. In light of the previous days, a pretty uneventful evening all round.
Nelspruit CC, in all its glory!
Day 4
Day 4, the final, and it is played in the afternoon. This means that most of us get to sleep-in a little, have a leisurely breakfast and make our way to the bus on our own time. Of course 23 of us were early and Dave Tripp was on time!
This also sets us up to let the nerves take control of otherwise experienced golfers! Some were practicing, some were eating, some were drinking, and the rest were doing it all. Some on the other hand were down-right pensive and trying to send messages to the opposition.
Will I be Sharp today, and will I win like Man-U are going to?
The Gud Gize needed 7 points to claim the trophy, the Bokkoms needed 5.5 points to tie the event and retain the trophy... a far cry from the 5 point lead the Bokkoms had enjoyed the previous year. Peter Bergh and Wayne England led the field off. If only Wayne knew that he would only be playing the final over nine holes - that's all Pete needed to chalk up the first point for the Gud Gize.
It went down to the wire - well almost. Jason O'Connell and Kevin Venter clinched the trophy with wins, playing the last hole in the dark on the same par three where the Gud Gize clinched victory by a single putt 5 years ago!
We could not have scripted the final any better than this. The 4 point victory for the Bokkoms does not do the narrow margin of the win any justice!
After an early dinner we got Prize Giving underway. Fines were dealt out for the first time this year - a far cry from previous years, and the Captains did the official awarding of trophies to both teams.
The Best-Comeback award, a trophy donated by Neil Hymers, for the best come-back of the year, was awarded to Jason O'Connell for winning all 6 of his games this year.
After prize-giving some of us settled down in the pub and the pool room, whilst others went into Nelspruit to see the weekend out at the Casino.
In the other two Major sporting events of the weekend, the Blue Bulls lost their Super 12 Semi-Final to the Waratahs, and Arsenal beat Manchester United in the FA Cup Final.
Day 5
Sunday had arrived with its usual speed. 18 out of the 19 who were travelling home on the bus were early. Only Tony Kaleb was on-time!
Arthur had tried the 'freshen' the bus with a collection of toilet sprays, but alas to no avail. Soon enough, the pub opened and we were on our 'smelly' way. And just to top things off, we had stop in Delmas to change buses, with a driver and his three dogs. That was a circus all of its own. We arrived back at Country Club Johannesburg courtesy of Kevin Clarence who directed the bus to CCJ by hanging out the window.
And so another DC Cup came to a grateful end..................
Some final trivia
In 2005 the Duck went to Des Stroud. Des played 6 games and lost 6, contributing 6 points to the Bokkoms. Arthur Brook thanked him for being the 13th man on the Bokkoms squad. Soon after the DC Cup, Des and his family jetted off on an all expenses paid holiday courtesy of Jan Booyzen
Tony Kaleb remains the only player to have played for both teams, and to have never suffered a defeat. Well, maybe that is not quite true when you look at the overall results of the John Moyes/Tony Kaleb feud. John beat Tony in this years Singles - for the Second Consecutive Year
The best Rookie player of the year went to Erik Smuts. Winning 3 of his 6 games at a points rate of 50%.
This year could also have been dubbed the year for "Dog Licenses" or worse. We have never has so many large margin victories before. Look at the scores below, but also look closely at the names listed.
| - | John Moyes & Erik Smuts (Gud Gize) | Beat | Tony Kaleb & Des Seegers (Bokkoms) | 7 & 6 | Betterball, Country Club Johannesburg, 18 May 2005 |
| - | Arthur Brook & Dave Tripp (Bokkoms) | Beat | Monty Mantovan & Des Stroud (Gud Gize) | 7 & 6 | Foursomes, White River Country Club, 19 May 2005 |
| - | Arthur Brook & Jan Coetzee (Bokkoms) | Beat | Keith MacMillan & Des Stroud (Gud Gize) | 7 & 6 | Betterball, White River Country Club, 19 May 2005 |
| - | Peter Bergh (Gud Gize) | Beat | Wayne England (Bokkoms) | 8 & 7 | Singles, White River Country Club, 21 May 2005 |
| - | John Moyes (Gud Gize) | Beat | Tony Kaleb (Bokkoms) | 7 & 6 | Singles, White River Country Club, 21 May 2005 |
| - | Jan Booyzen (Bokkoms) | Beat | Des Stroud (Gud Gize) | 8 & 6 | Singles, White River Country Club, 21 May 2005 |
This Years Trivia Awards are:
| AWARD | RECIPIENT | |||
| - | ROOKIE | Erik Smuts | for winning 3 out of 6 games | |
| - | DUCK | Des Stroud | for loosing all six games | |
| - | HOSPITAL PASS | Jan Booyzen | for introducing Des Stroud to the Gud Gize | |
| - | ALI BABA | Dave Tripp | for claiming a 19 handicap, actually playing off of it, and winning 5 out of 6 Games - and having no shame. | |
| - | CARROT | Wayne England | for the largest loss this year - 8 & 7 to Peter Bergh in the Singles | |
| - | WIDE-ARSE | Arthur Brook | for winning 5 out of 6 Games, by playing Des Stroud 3 times, and issuing 2 Dog Licences - off an 18 handicap! | |
| - | TOY POM | Des Stroud | for getting three Dog Licences | |
| - | CHIWAWA | Tony Kaleb | for getting two Dog Licences | |
| - | BARBARA WOODHOUSE | John Moyes & Arthur Brook | for issuing more than one Dog Licence each | |
| - | LUV-BUG (nee-nee) | John Moyes | for winning both games against Toney Kaleb, and both by a Dog Licence - that had to hurt? | |
| - | GOLDEN HEART | Monty Mantovan | for his endearing acceptance speech when he received his 5 Year Award | |
| - | BOB MUGABE | Louis Barclay | for deserting his people, and being politically incorrect | |
and for the final bit of bullshit
The Bokkoms now have a Victory Song!
Thanks Arfur for the words
Bokkoms, hoekom is you stert so hoog?
Bokkoms, hoekom is you stert so hoog?
Bokkoms, hoekom is you stert so hoog?
Ons het die Gud Gize weer geroof!
(And Arthur - many a true word spoken in jest?)
